We are so confident until we see the outcome…

Nobody expects they’ll get sick, and nobody can truly prepare you, for becoming ill.

We’ve all seen tremendous movies about alien abductions or even demon possessions… If I were to be completely honest about my experience as disease took over, possessed my body, mind and ability to cope, I’d say, it’s not what you think it’ll be.

After waking from my, “possessions”, I woke to a world with friends missing, family members hurt and me, absolutely confused as to why… Our absolute best, may not be well understood, amongst our support people, even or maybe, especially, our medical team.

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This is EXHAUSTING

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During lifeguard training, they teach you how to approach a drowning victim… do you grab them from behind? Send in a pole for them to grab? Yank their hair from behind? How do you save a drowning person, without being taken under, yourself?

I know how I felt… I know the fear, the panic, unrelenting pain, extreme fatigue, that I could’ve never imagined. I was, that drowning person. I didn’t always know I had said or done something that would hurt someone else, because communicating through pain and disease is complicated, we think we are saying something that’s thoughtful and appropriate. Turns out that with combined pain, disease and medication side effects, it’s not always as clear as we think it is… instead of politely saying, “thank you for your trouble, I’m very grateful for your efforts”, it would come out as, “wait, I can’t have that, how did you not know this?”

Yeah, it surprised me too, because the first response was what was in my heart, the second response was how it was received,and probably somewhere in the middle, is what happened.

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We are compromised

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It’s unintentional… how do we learn to change this? It begins with asking your friends and family members for gentle feedback, honesty and reminders. I know I’d rather hear about how to improve, than to hurt the people around me.

I’m incredibly fortunate, as I have a wonderful, insightful daughter and her boyfriend, who would help to identify the issue, understand what’s me, what’s a drug reaction or human reaction to what I’m responding to. Sometimes I thought I was, “lightening”, the situation by making a joke, and in reality, I made it more awkward.

I’m not sure how to do this, without hearing from loved ones, “hey, that was awkward, it caused some discomfort, maybe next time you approach it this way … “. I had friends who aggressively broached this, and friends who did not at all. I’ll tell you, they’re ALL, gone now. The aggressive person put me into a defensive place… I didn’t get sick on purpose… the others left me confused, “but you never told me”. I was even told that I wouldn’t have been receptive, if they had.

If that were true, why did I make changes that my daughter guided me, instead of losing a loved one? Know yourself, know your heart, so you feel confident in who you are as a person ♥️

There’s already so much shame and fear from being so severely sick, maybe the difference can be made, with some thoughtful communication.

To my unicorn warriors, I know you’re struggling and suffering. Our loved ones, our support system is important. Please be open to hearing what your loved ones need to say, or how they need you to communicate with them.

To the support system, the loved ones, please be patient, and honest. We’re sick, not trying to hurt anyone. If you love your unicorn, you’ll take the opportunity to communicate with your sick person. Say it with love, compassion and honesty.